Understanding the Right of First Refusal in Family Court: What It Is, How It Works, and When to Use It

In custody cases, many parents seek to include a provision in their parenting plan known as the Right of First Refusal (ROFR). While this clause can promote increased parental involvement and reduce the need for third-party childcare, it also has the potential to create conflict if not clearly defined or properly managed. In this article, we’ll break down what the Right of First Refusal means, how it works, why parents include it, and why some judges are hesitant to order it. We’ll also explore real-world scenarios and explain how to request this provision in your parenting plan.

What Is the Right of First Refusal?

The Right of First Refusal is a legal provision in a custody or parenting agreement that gives one parent the option to care for their child before the other parent hires a babysitter, leaves the child with a relative, or uses any form of third-party care during their own custodial time.

In other words, if Parent A cannot care for the child during their parenting time for a certain number of hours (due to work, travel, or personal matters), they must first offer the time to Parent B before arranging alternative childcare.

Why Do Parents Request It?

Parents typically ask for a ROFR provision to:

• Maximize their time with the child

• Ensure parental involvement over third-party care

• Maintain consistency for the child

• Avoid overreliance on nannies or relatives

• Prevent missed parenting opportunities

This clause is especially helpful for parents who feel they are not getting enough time or want to remain actively involved, even when the child is technically under the other parent’s custodial period.

Common Real-World Scenarios

Let’s look at a few common situations where the ROFR may come into play:

1. Work Schedule Conflicts

Parent A has weekday custody but must attend a mandatory work training for two days. Instead of asking a friend or daycare to watch the child, Parent A is required to notify Parent B, giving them the option to care for the child during those two days.

2. Social or Personal Plans

Parent B has custody over the weekend but plans a weekend getaway with friends. If the ROFR clause is in place, Parent B must first offer the parenting time to Parent A before leaving the child with a babysitter or grandparent.